Is it a mistake?
Lately I haven't been myself ever since I got back home! I feel soo weird! Besides my closest friend which she hasn't changed much....besides her hair which she dyed!
Missing brisbane like sooo much! I really like the freedom! Going back home, parents are always nagging me and expect me to just do as they say....Its like I want to have my own down time too. Its like all that matters to them is work + family! I mean I've been working 6 days a wk ever since i got back and when I go out they get upset with me. Its just like errrr....I need sometime to socialise with others. Even though majority of the ADL ppzl are really not my type of crowd....well my old/uni friends anyways. I think I just need to find a new crowd and hopefully they are down to earth.
Today I went to lunch! there a couple that i really dislike...yes its always him! Anyways..they were the last two ppzl I wanna see and yet...I had to bump into them. The girl who is soo whipped by the guy, said hi and then walked off. And the guy just totally walked by like I didnt existed. What a FAG! like he's a puny 2nd yr pharmacy student and she is a full pharmacist! Shes too gd for him but hey...she must have done something super bad in her past life to deserve him. Watever...they are non-existent to me.
oh...on a passing note, I passed everything which was sucha relief! I was 1% off of getting a HD (7)....overall I got straight 6's (3 D's) which was a shock to me. YAY! 4th yr was awesome!
3 more sleeps till i go back up bris for my graduation! I can't wait!!!
Anyways tired...blog next time!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
ok! time to update....
Its been quite sometime since I last wrote....I know I always do this! But I did mentioned in my last posts that I wont be posting for a while due to exams.
Well let me update on things...I got most of my marks back...I'm waiting for my "Quality Use Of Medicines" written exam marks. I think that before an exam can be stressful but its really the waiting for results which really affects me.
The oral exam was fine but I barely passed it which makes me even more worried about my written exam.
After the exams I just pretty hanged out with all my friends before I flew back home. Back home now....started working full time, 6 days a wk! Not to mention it takes an hr to get to work...so basically, 2hrs on the road each day! Which sucks...I don't miss the uni work and stress of exams but then I dislike working. sigh....its a Monday again tomr!
I recently been thinkin "The scariest thing about distance is that you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget you" This is the feeling I am getting from leaving brisbane....I am sure I will keep in touch with all of them though I am sure feelings of closeness will fade. And...this already has been witnessed when I got back home where my Adelaide friends....I dont even feel like I am close to anyone really. I think I have to try and be proactive and just go meet new ppzl since I feel like sucha loner.
Anyways...2 more days till my results! At midnight on the 30th of Nov I will receive a text to my fone...gosh its scary! I shall know my fate....praying I will pass. I hope I do...
Anyways....gonna sleep! Soo hate waking up early for work but that's life! Work life is sooo boring! I must find a girl friend this year damn it!!!
Well let me update on things...I got most of my marks back...I'm waiting for my "Quality Use Of Medicines" written exam marks. I think that before an exam can be stressful but its really the waiting for results which really affects me.
The oral exam was fine but I barely passed it which makes me even more worried about my written exam.
After the exams I just pretty hanged out with all my friends before I flew back home. Back home now....started working full time, 6 days a wk! Not to mention it takes an hr to get to work...so basically, 2hrs on the road each day! Which sucks...I don't miss the uni work and stress of exams but then I dislike working. sigh....its a Monday again tomr!
I recently been thinkin "The scariest thing about distance is that you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget you" This is the feeling I am getting from leaving brisbane....I am sure I will keep in touch with all of them though I am sure feelings of closeness will fade. And...this already has been witnessed when I got back home where my Adelaide friends....I dont even feel like I am close to anyone really. I think I have to try and be proactive and just go meet new ppzl since I feel like sucha loner.
Anyways...2 more days till my results! At midnight on the 30th of Nov I will receive a text to my fone...gosh its scary! I shall know my fate....praying I will pass. I hope I do...
Anyways....gonna sleep! Soo hate waking up early for work but that's life! Work life is sooo boring! I must find a girl friend this year damn it!!!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Whats on my mind
I’M WAS HAPPY BEING SINGLE.
I was honestly, there are times when don’t want a relationship. but sometimes there are those times when you see a cute couple or something and then you just want to have someone. someone to show off, someone you can call your’s, someone who would be a part of your daily routine, just someone you know will be there for you.
Anyways....I haven't wrote in a while now...after tonight I have 7 days till my first exam! I am sooo worried....have not been sleeping right and I feel like I have done nothing these past couple of days. If I dont pull out some miracle studies and get things in my brain I will seriously fail! I really don't want to fail because theres alot riding on me passing.
1. My parents and brother am expecting me to come back home.
2. My cousin is also leaving bris so I where will i live next yr if i had to stay another year up here?
3. I already have internship sorted out....and I also will be working as soon as I finish my exams so for me to not pass these exams will just kill me.
4. My friends back home who did intern this yr have passed their exams and so now they are registered pharmacists. For me to not pass and be another yr behind them will be very like a dagger through my heart!
5. People back home knows that I will be back so if I cant pass, I wont be able to show my face to anyone. Some may read this and think its all about pride but there's alot more to it than pride. Sure it is a reason but not just that!
I cant really even think of any other time when I have been under this much pressure and depressed...I just want to pass, hopefully I can! I pray I can!
Dont know when I will post next.....maybe when I need a break from all these studies or might be after my exams. Either way I am going to have to get really serious now!
Byes!
I was honestly, there are times when don’t want a relationship. but sometimes there are those times when you see a cute couple or something and then you just want to have someone. someone to show off, someone you can call your’s, someone who would be a part of your daily routine, just someone you know will be there for you.
Anyways....I haven't wrote in a while now...after tonight I have 7 days till my first exam! I am sooo worried....have not been sleeping right and I feel like I have done nothing these past couple of days. If I dont pull out some miracle studies and get things in my brain I will seriously fail! I really don't want to fail because theres alot riding on me passing.
1. My parents and brother am expecting me to come back home.
2. My cousin is also leaving bris so I where will i live next yr if i had to stay another year up here?
3. I already have internship sorted out....and I also will be working as soon as I finish my exams so for me to not pass these exams will just kill me.
4. My friends back home who did intern this yr have passed their exams and so now they are registered pharmacists. For me to not pass and be another yr behind them will be very like a dagger through my heart!
5. People back home knows that I will be back so if I cant pass, I wont be able to show my face to anyone. Some may read this and think its all about pride but there's alot more to it than pride. Sure it is a reason but not just that!
I cant really even think of any other time when I have been under this much pressure and depressed...I just want to pass, hopefully I can! I pray I can!
Dont know when I will post next.....maybe when I need a break from all these studies or might be after my exams. Either way I am going to have to get really serious now!
Byes!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Imperfections adds character....
Why do girls have to go take cosmetic surgery? Their look is the gift from above that was chosen for them! What they lack on the outside beauty they make up for in the inside. Once girls who undergone changes, it seems that the beauty inside of them fades away. Maybe they think that they are now beautiful and need to act differently. Little do they know...they might look beautiful on the outside but their genes don;t change and so their kids (not saying this will happen) but wont be as beautiful as them.
A funny story I grew up with was that some Asian girl went back to Asia (where surgery is dirt cheap)had a total face change. As she was about to leave back home to Australia...her passport picture did not match up to her new face so obviously they couldn't let her leave. She was forced to stay in Asia for nearly 6 months and had to get all these identifications done by her + her family. It was the dumbest story ever...like why would u do that? I guess I will never know...because I am happy with how I look. Dont get me wrong...there are things that I would like to change about myself, physically....but I tell myself, this is what was given to me by my parents and a higher power up there, changing it would be disrespecting them. Besides I am a strong believer of inner beauty over outer beauty so for me to resort to those people would never happen.
Over the summer holidays, I saw a friend who I was shocked to see. She used to have this mole on her face. It was very noticeable but when I saw her that day, I couldn't see it anymore. I didn't ask her as we recently became very distant but I found out later that she had it removed. Even though it wasn't major cosmetic surgery....it is still class the same as the others. I wondered why she did it...was it because she was unhappy with that mole? I mean she did live with it for 22 years of her life....Why now? OR Was it because her boyfriend who has a big influence on the person she has become got her thinking about removing the mole? Either way I was shocked to see her fave without a mole....I went home that night and laid in bed and just kept thinking.....theres nothing wrong with the mole being removed if she feels that it has made her more confident as a person, I just hope she is happy and did it for the right reasons. But then again....she removed a mole which in the eyes of 99% of people, she is more attractive now.
I think I am the weird....lets say unique or special 1% that sees that the mole had added character to her and I Liked it when she had the mole. If I was her boyfriend I would support her on whether she wanted it removed or not....make it her choice but let her know that I would love her no matter with or without the mole! I would not love her any less...Even till this day, if I ever talk to her again I would stand by my thinking and tell her I think she looked better with the mole. Maybe she will not understand why but that's how I see it.
Anyways...I woke up this morning at 9AM....its 9.40 now! I better plan what I need to do today and hopefully get some major studying done! 19 days left!
A out =)
A funny story I grew up with was that some Asian girl went back to Asia (where surgery is dirt cheap)had a total face change. As she was about to leave back home to Australia...her passport picture did not match up to her new face so obviously they couldn't let her leave. She was forced to stay in Asia for nearly 6 months and had to get all these identifications done by her + her family. It was the dumbest story ever...like why would u do that? I guess I will never know...because I am happy with how I look. Dont get me wrong...there are things that I would like to change about myself, physically....but I tell myself, this is what was given to me by my parents and a higher power up there, changing it would be disrespecting them. Besides I am a strong believer of inner beauty over outer beauty so for me to resort to those people would never happen.
Over the summer holidays, I saw a friend who I was shocked to see. She used to have this mole on her face. It was very noticeable but when I saw her that day, I couldn't see it anymore. I didn't ask her as we recently became very distant but I found out later that she had it removed. Even though it wasn't major cosmetic surgery....it is still class the same as the others. I wondered why she did it...was it because she was unhappy with that mole? I mean she did live with it for 22 years of her life....Why now? OR Was it because her boyfriend who has a big influence on the person she has become got her thinking about removing the mole? Either way I was shocked to see her fave without a mole....I went home that night and laid in bed and just kept thinking.....theres nothing wrong with the mole being removed if she feels that it has made her more confident as a person, I just hope she is happy and did it for the right reasons. But then again....she removed a mole which in the eyes of 99% of people, she is more attractive now.
I think I am the weird....lets say unique or special 1% that sees that the mole had added character to her and I Liked it when she had the mole. If I was her boyfriend I would support her on whether she wanted it removed or not....make it her choice but let her know that I would love her no matter with or without the mole! I would not love her any less...Even till this day, if I ever talk to her again I would stand by my thinking and tell her I think she looked better with the mole. Maybe she will not understand why but that's how I see it.
Anyways...I woke up this morning at 9AM....its 9.40 now! I better plan what I need to do today and hopefully get some major studying done! 19 days left!
A out =)
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Tonight! I am ARGHHHH!!!! FUCK!!!
I am sooo angry right now!!!
I was driving home from dinner and I got caught speeding by some shitty van! It flashed and clearly I was caught! I was doing 70km on a 60km rd! Okay....get this....I pride myself of never getting caught speeding and this is my first one I ever got, which is why its such a big deal for me.
The only reason why I even got caught was because the road was a down hill road! Hence my speed had to increase! It wasnt like I was gonna break and slow my speed down when it was a downward road. Thats soo stupid! I swear...I dont have the time and money to deal with this at the moment! today I recently did my AHPRA registration which is where all pharmacy intern students have to do before commencing intern! It cost me $258 which has burned a whole through my wallet! And not only that I purchased my tickets flight back home which also set me back $139! Getting fine is sooo not cool!
If i got caught speeding on a straight road then yes....it was my own stupidity but I was going down hill and my speed automatically increases without me even accelerating/ This is sooo unjust! I am going to call up the Queensland Transport and speak to someone about this. I am sooo sure that they are not allow to catch anyone for speeding when going down hill! HOW RIDICULOUS!!!
ARGHHHHHH!!!!! I dont know how I am going to sleep tonight, let alone concentrate on studying! I have 21 days left till my first exam! Honestly F*** THIS!!!
Gonna call tomr....but doubt I can do anything! My two friends told me that it is not illegal for them to catch me while going downhill! BULLSHIT!!! When I am mad...swearing is a way to let it out.
I know I cant turn back time and just have to pay the fine, move on!!!
ARGHHHH will always remember this day!
I was driving home from dinner and I got caught speeding by some shitty van! It flashed and clearly I was caught! I was doing 70km on a 60km rd! Okay....get this....I pride myself of never getting caught speeding and this is my first one I ever got, which is why its such a big deal for me.
The only reason why I even got caught was because the road was a down hill road! Hence my speed had to increase! It wasnt like I was gonna break and slow my speed down when it was a downward road. Thats soo stupid! I swear...I dont have the time and money to deal with this at the moment! today I recently did my AHPRA registration which is where all pharmacy intern students have to do before commencing intern! It cost me $258 which has burned a whole through my wallet! And not only that I purchased my tickets flight back home which also set me back $139! Getting fine is sooo not cool!
If i got caught speeding on a straight road then yes....it was my own stupidity but I was going down hill and my speed automatically increases without me even accelerating/ This is sooo unjust! I am going to call up the Queensland Transport and speak to someone about this. I am sooo sure that they are not allow to catch anyone for speeding when going down hill! HOW RIDICULOUS!!!
ARGHHHHHH!!!!! I dont know how I am going to sleep tonight, let alone concentrate on studying! I have 21 days left till my first exam! Honestly F*** THIS!!!
Gonna call tomr....but doubt I can do anything! My two friends told me that it is not illegal for them to catch me while going downhill! BULLSHIT!!! When I am mad...swearing is a way to let it out.
I know I cant turn back time and just have to pay the fine, move on!!!
ARGHHHH will always remember this day!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
is this it?
Sometimes I feel that I really cant handle certain situations!
Everyone thinks I am some Extrovert type of person who can be put into any scene and will adapt to it like that *snaps fingers* But really...I am not that type of person at all.
Like yesterday, that friend of mine who I wrote in my last post approached me! I just said hi and then completely ignored her. I think its because I was still mad at her. She saw I was giving her the cold shoulder and just walked off.
What was I supposed to do? Go on and act like I am all cool with her betraying me? Or How little she sees our friendship?
I have no idea when we still start talking again and even if we did, I know one things for sure and that is we can never be the same or be close again! It really sucks...I wanted to leave Uni with having lifelong friends....even though I wasn't attracted to her as in more than a friend but I would have still hoped to be friends....I think as soon as we leave uni and start working, we will just distant ourselves and lose contact completely.
Well...what can I do? This is the person I am! I talked to a friend online....I did ask that friend of mine, how to would she deal with betrayal and basically weighing things up.....forgiveness would be her choice. I told her I would find it super hard to forgive because theres not many things that could get to me but if it does then it has to be something big! After i said that....my friend goes to me "well...I'll make sure I don't do anything that can make you mad a me" I said "ur too nice so that will never happen"
That was just being nice because I know even the nicest person can do something one day I might not like....its whether if I see it as something I am strongly against or cant accept which hence will really test my friendship for the person.
Anyways....I have 3 weeks till exams! Time to really get serious with my studies and not bother about anything else. Have 2 exams....nearly at the end of the road. I can almost see it....I have to try or else I will never forgive myself, knowing i did not try in these 3 weeks.
A Out :)
Everyone thinks I am some Extrovert type of person who can be put into any scene and will adapt to it like that *snaps fingers* But really...I am not that type of person at all.
Like yesterday, that friend of mine who I wrote in my last post approached me! I just said hi and then completely ignored her. I think its because I was still mad at her. She saw I was giving her the cold shoulder and just walked off.
What was I supposed to do? Go on and act like I am all cool with her betraying me? Or How little she sees our friendship?
I have no idea when we still start talking again and even if we did, I know one things for sure and that is we can never be the same or be close again! It really sucks...I wanted to leave Uni with having lifelong friends....even though I wasn't attracted to her as in more than a friend but I would have still hoped to be friends....I think as soon as we leave uni and start working, we will just distant ourselves and lose contact completely.
Well...what can I do? This is the person I am! I talked to a friend online....I did ask that friend of mine, how to would she deal with betrayal and basically weighing things up.....forgiveness would be her choice. I told her I would find it super hard to forgive because theres not many things that could get to me but if it does then it has to be something big! After i said that....my friend goes to me "well...I'll make sure I don't do anything that can make you mad a me" I said "ur too nice so that will never happen"
That was just being nice because I know even the nicest person can do something one day I might not like....its whether if I see it as something I am strongly against or cant accept which hence will really test my friendship for the person.
Anyways....I have 3 weeks till exams! Time to really get serious with my studies and not bother about anything else. Have 2 exams....nearly at the end of the road. I can almost see it....I have to try or else I will never forgive myself, knowing i did not try in these 3 weeks.
A Out :)
Monday, October 17, 2011
feelings of....
disappointment!
Tonight I annoyed, angry, sad and confused. Our graduation dinner is in a months time, so a close friend of mine asked me to organise the table arrangements. I didn't mind it....she had 3 other friends! Total 4 of them.....+ Me and 2 of my mates =7
Hence I needed to find 3 more friends. I found them....and tonight, she wanted to pull out of the group. That really annoyed me! Apparently, these two other friends of her are also organising the seating arrangements and she picked to sit with them and not me.
1. It just shows where I stand compare to her other friends in her eyes
2. If so, she should have never asked me to even organise it in the first place.
Anyways....I feel soo betrayed! I dont know how i am gonna even look her in the eyes tomr at uni!....
I guess i am gonna email the QPSA ppzl and let them know we got 6 on our table and get them to randomly allocate 4 other randoms. I have not probs talking to strangers/randoms because i am talkative and easily approachable, but to have this feeling of what she did to me....is not cool! I am hurt...and mad! Dont know how long I will stay mad but one thing is for sure......I am not gonna ever forget this and gonna be hard for me to forgive.
A out >_<''
Tonight I annoyed, angry, sad and confused. Our graduation dinner is in a months time, so a close friend of mine asked me to organise the table arrangements. I didn't mind it....she had 3 other friends! Total 4 of them.....+ Me and 2 of my mates =7
Hence I needed to find 3 more friends. I found them....and tonight, she wanted to pull out of the group. That really annoyed me! Apparently, these two other friends of her are also organising the seating arrangements and she picked to sit with them and not me.
1. It just shows where I stand compare to her other friends in her eyes
2. If so, she should have never asked me to even organise it in the first place.
Anyways....I feel soo betrayed! I dont know how i am gonna even look her in the eyes tomr at uni!....
I guess i am gonna email the QPSA ppzl and let them know we got 6 on our table and get them to randomly allocate 4 other randoms. I have not probs talking to strangers/randoms because i am talkative and easily approachable, but to have this feeling of what she did to me....is not cool! I am hurt...and mad! Dont know how long I will stay mad but one thing is for sure......I am not gonna ever forget this and gonna be hard for me to forgive.
A out >_<''
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Bored....
Ok! So decided add a new entry becuz I am bored at the moment and really have nothing better to do.
I am suppose to do my MPE research and rock up to UNI of a day off to go through the speeches with my gp members. Some reason I cant seem to concentrate tonight and would rather do anything but the MPE!
So I've decided to act as a speech pathologist for the speech and really I have no idea at all really what they do...I mean I know they help patients with swallowing, speech and language difficulties but how? I really must find out by the end of tonight. A 5 minute speech will be quite challenging i think....so I just have to see how much information I can find....Pharmacy is sooo annoying! Like why would I want to know what other health professionals do in detail? I don't think other degrees force their students to study about what pharmacists do in detail! If I wanted to study to become a speech pathologist I would have enrolled in that program....argh!!! Its not cool! >_<''
1hr later.....was just browsing youtube and facebk! Just found out that you can actually block someone and they wont be able to find you on fb! Which is amazing...I found out this guy blocked me! He hates me....i really actually dont know. My reason for hating him is because he is a sly bastard, a jerk and also dating the girl I like. However, thinking about her now....I really dont care and I believe I really have totally lost interest in her. If I ever speak to her again...I just want to her to know "What ever happens, I hope you know...you deserve the best". A small part of me will always have feelings for her...she really is a nice person on the inside but her boyfriend is just a bad influence and shes turned out for the worse, but thats the path she has chosen and so I cant do much. I know there are better friends out there to make!
Anyways....time to start my MPE! hopefully I can make good progress in the next 2hrs and sleep at 12!
A-Out!
I am suppose to do my MPE research and rock up to UNI of a day off to go through the speeches with my gp members. Some reason I cant seem to concentrate tonight and would rather do anything but the MPE!
So I've decided to act as a speech pathologist for the speech and really I have no idea at all really what they do...I mean I know they help patients with swallowing, speech and language difficulties but how? I really must find out by the end of tonight. A 5 minute speech will be quite challenging i think....so I just have to see how much information I can find....Pharmacy is sooo annoying! Like why would I want to know what other health professionals do in detail? I don't think other degrees force their students to study about what pharmacists do in detail! If I wanted to study to become a speech pathologist I would have enrolled in that program....argh!!! Its not cool! >_<''
1hr later.....was just browsing youtube and facebk! Just found out that you can actually block someone and they wont be able to find you on fb! Which is amazing...I found out this guy blocked me! He hates me....i really actually dont know. My reason for hating him is because he is a sly bastard, a jerk and also dating the girl I like. However, thinking about her now....I really dont care and I believe I really have totally lost interest in her. If I ever speak to her again...I just want to her to know "What ever happens, I hope you know...you deserve the best". A small part of me will always have feelings for her...she really is a nice person on the inside but her boyfriend is just a bad influence and shes turned out for the worse, but thats the path she has chosen and so I cant do much. I know there are better friends out there to make!
Anyways....time to start my MPE! hopefully I can make good progress in the next 2hrs and sleep at 12!
A-Out!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Confessions are actually not too bad...
okays...I recently realised something!
In these past couple of days, I found that after a confession to a girl you like is not something you cant get over, especially when she rejects you.
Now...the story goes, I like this close friend of mine...told her how I felt and wanted to know if she felt the same. She asked me how long i have felt this way and I told her that I have for quite sometime now.
She said that it really caught her by surprised and that she never felt that way towards me. She said its not a definite no but she wants to go with the flow and see what happens.
This really reminds me of an episode in HIMYM where they defined this theory where everyone gets caught in the vicious cycle of being hooked. I feel like I am being hooked by her....its like this e.g. "I can't be with you....right now." I think if you like someone u will always know...she definitely doesnt feel that way.
Now there's two options I can take:
1. Go back to being friends and act like everything is fine
2. Slowly become distant to her
At this stage I dont know what route I will take but just have to wait and see...I got too many things to worry about such as final 4wks of Uni and end of pharmacy degree. I cant believe its been 3 yrs since I have been up here....feels like a dream! This experience of being away from home has definitely turned out alot better than I expected....because I have grown and become more independent which I dont think I would have gotten if I got into pharmacy back home. Also the awesome friends I made...I am sure we will be lifelong friends! Thankyou Fate!
Anyways, back to my point...after telling her and she nicely rejected me, I thought I would be pretty heartbroken, but....No! I was fine. It was just better to get it off my chest and felt like whatever the outcome may have been...it was a win for me. Maybe I am just being an optimistic like I always am but yeh....life goes on and there are other girls out there.
I am slowly losing feelings for her as day goes by...i think some people will question how much I liked her....I did like her alot but being the person I am...I dont want to hold onto something thats not worth holding on. Sure I will always have some feelings for her but nothing is going to happen so I have to move on.
Not writing these past couple of days....have made me write quite alot for this post! Until next time.....
A - out :)
In these past couple of days, I found that after a confession to a girl you like is not something you cant get over, especially when she rejects you.
Now...the story goes, I like this close friend of mine...told her how I felt and wanted to know if she felt the same. She asked me how long i have felt this way and I told her that I have for quite sometime now.
She said that it really caught her by surprised and that she never felt that way towards me. She said its not a definite no but she wants to go with the flow and see what happens.
This really reminds me of an episode in HIMYM where they defined this theory where everyone gets caught in the vicious cycle of being hooked. I feel like I am being hooked by her....its like this e.g. "I can't be with you....right now." I think if you like someone u will always know...she definitely doesnt feel that way.
Now there's two options I can take:
1. Go back to being friends and act like everything is fine
2. Slowly become distant to her
At this stage I dont know what route I will take but just have to wait and see...I got too many things to worry about such as final 4wks of Uni and end of pharmacy degree. I cant believe its been 3 yrs since I have been up here....feels like a dream! This experience of being away from home has definitely turned out alot better than I expected....because I have grown and become more independent which I dont think I would have gotten if I got into pharmacy back home. Also the awesome friends I made...I am sure we will be lifelong friends! Thankyou Fate!
Anyways, back to my point...after telling her and she nicely rejected me, I thought I would be pretty heartbroken, but....No! I was fine. It was just better to get it off my chest and felt like whatever the outcome may have been...it was a win for me. Maybe I am just being an optimistic like I always am but yeh....life goes on and there are other girls out there.
I am slowly losing feelings for her as day goes by...i think some people will question how much I liked her....I did like her alot but being the person I am...I dont want to hold onto something thats not worth holding on. Sure I will always have some feelings for her but nothing is going to happen so I have to move on.
Not writing these past couple of days....have made me write quite alot for this post! Until next time.....
A - out :)
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Random thoughts....random feelings...
Its 3AM and I cant sleep! Why....I don't know!
Could it be I am still thinking of what happened a couple of nights ago?....possibly!
Ok! Soo what happened is....by far the most memorable night I've had in Brisbane where after dinner my mate came over and we started to drink! We were having the best time, just laughing and talking about the most random things.
I think alcohol opens you up....well it does for me anyways! With the alcohol in me...I text my close friend and told her i like her. She didn't responded well...and she said that it was awkward. I haven't spoken to her since! What am i suppose to do?...I have just trying to distract by finding things to do these last couple of days and not think about it, but i guess....when i lay in bed at night, i began to think....
oh wells....don't ask me how huge the possibilities is, because we will never know.
You know how ppzl say its hard to be friends with your ex....well what about being rejected by a girl?....especially if u known each other pretty well.
Well...life goes on! Until my next post!
Could it be I am still thinking of what happened a couple of nights ago?....possibly!
Ok! Soo what happened is....by far the most memorable night I've had in Brisbane where after dinner my mate came over and we started to drink! We were having the best time, just laughing and talking about the most random things.
I think alcohol opens you up....well it does for me anyways! With the alcohol in me...I text my close friend and told her i like her. She didn't responded well...and she said that it was awkward. I haven't spoken to her since! What am i suppose to do?...I have just trying to distract by finding things to do these last couple of days and not think about it, but i guess....when i lay in bed at night, i began to think....
oh wells....don't ask me how huge the possibilities is, because we will never know.
You know how ppzl say its hard to be friends with your ex....well what about being rejected by a girl?....especially if u known each other pretty well.
Well...life goes on! Until my next post!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Annoyed!!!
When you are annoyed....u cant concentrate!
Example; annoyed at everything that has happened these last a couple of days! Cant research...reading one line just makes me more pissed off! I hardly get pissed off but people around me really give me a reason to be.
F***** researching something i find ridiculously stupid! ARGGHHHH!
Example; annoyed at everything that has happened these last a couple of days! Cant research...reading one line just makes me more pissed off! I hardly get pissed off but people around me really give me a reason to be.
F***** researching something i find ridiculously stupid! ARGGHHHH!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
second time meeting
Ok! Getting straight to business tonight!
Well...after dinner with my mates, i went to woolies to hopefully ask her for her number. I rocked up at 7.45 PM, hoping that it would be late enough where there was no ppzl but there were heaps...guess late nite grocery shopping is common.
The moment I walked in, she saw me and was looking straight at me. Not even a subtle glance. Seems like she was expecting...hoping me to come? Anyways, I waited a while went toward the checkout. I said hi to her, and then ask her how was her night? She replied "not too bad thanks"
As I wanted to talk more, some lady lined up behind me. So didn't have more of a chance to talk to her. However, although I did not get her number like I had planned, I made an impression AND I have a feeling that she also likes me too. I guess I am going to have to do my grocery shopping every friday now, instead of the weekend like I used to.
I think 1-2 more times, I will be able to ask for her number. FOR SURE!!! OR D-TRYING! :)
Anyways, feeling tired....must work on my MPE 3000 word Report! I wish i knew a social worker who can help me with this weird assignment!
Until next time...
Well...after dinner with my mates, i went to woolies to hopefully ask her for her number. I rocked up at 7.45 PM, hoping that it would be late enough where there was no ppzl but there were heaps...guess late nite grocery shopping is common.
The moment I walked in, she saw me and was looking straight at me. Not even a subtle glance. Seems like she was expecting...hoping me to come? Anyways, I waited a while went toward the checkout. I said hi to her, and then ask her how was her night? She replied "not too bad thanks"
As I wanted to talk more, some lady lined up behind me. So didn't have more of a chance to talk to her. However, although I did not get her number like I had planned, I made an impression AND I have a feeling that she also likes me too. I guess I am going to have to do my grocery shopping every friday now, instead of the weekend like I used to.
I think 1-2 more times, I will be able to ask for her number. FOR SURE!!! OR D-TRYING! :)
Anyways, feeling tired....must work on my MPE 3000 word Report! I wish i knew a social worker who can help me with this weird assignment!
Until next time...
Thursday, September 8, 2011
The Concept of Secrets
The Concept of Secrets is when 1 person has something that he/she does not want a second person to know. If there was a 2nd person who finds out, then that secret is a risk of being known by the 3rd, 4th, 5th...etc
Last night, I felt one of my big secrets was found out from a very close...my best friend back home. I don't feel any regrets that the thing I kept close to my heart is now known by a 2nd person....but I think I let myself go too often.
I hope that this post reminds me to not be in a vulnerable position like last nite. I'm the type that would try to show the least emotion out of all my friends. I keep things...sad or bitterness inside and constantly mask it with a smiling face.
90% of my friends think that I am too immature and honestly its the way i shield myself against showing any vulnerability. Everyone says its hard to be mature when you are immature. Try being immature when you are mature. I feel that's a lot harder!
One of my closet mate (Mike) said to me one nite! Everyone in this world puts on a mask/act when they are around others. Its so nature to them that they don't even know that they are doing it. I totally agree with what he is saying because its the truth.
For example: Someone who is nice...is it because they are nice? or is it because they know they have to be nice to be treated nicely in return? Either way, its hard to judge because everyone has different reasons/motives on why they act in a certain way.
For me? I like to believe I am nice, down to earth type of guy.
Do I act this way to be accepted? I cant honestly say no because I act the way people expect of me so I can fit into society...but it isnt necessary mean that its a bad thing!
Tomorrow is Friday! and it the day I will try to get the Woolworths girl number. Oh Yikes I am a little freaked out but I tell myself, I have nothing to lose + she is very pretty :P
Time to sleepzzzzz :)
Last night, I felt one of my big secrets was found out from a very close...my best friend back home. I don't feel any regrets that the thing I kept close to my heart is now known by a 2nd person....but I think I let myself go too often.
I hope that this post reminds me to not be in a vulnerable position like last nite. I'm the type that would try to show the least emotion out of all my friends. I keep things...sad or bitterness inside and constantly mask it with a smiling face.
90% of my friends think that I am too immature and honestly its the way i shield myself against showing any vulnerability. Everyone says its hard to be mature when you are immature. Try being immature when you are mature. I feel that's a lot harder!
One of my closet mate (Mike) said to me one nite! Everyone in this world puts on a mask/act when they are around others. Its so nature to them that they don't even know that they are doing it. I totally agree with what he is saying because its the truth.
For example: Someone who is nice...is it because they are nice? or is it because they know they have to be nice to be treated nicely in return? Either way, its hard to judge because everyone has different reasons/motives on why they act in a certain way.
For me? I like to believe I am nice, down to earth type of guy.
Do I act this way to be accepted? I cant honestly say no because I act the way people expect of me so I can fit into society...but it isnt necessary mean that its a bad thing!
Tomorrow is Friday! and it the day I will try to get the Woolworths girl number. Oh Yikes I am a little freaked out but I tell myself, I have nothing to lose + she is very pretty :P
Time to sleepzzzzz :)
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
a dream within a dream
Just had to write this....last night had such a weird dream.
Okay...so this is what happened...I was sitting in a grass field with a friend of mine, who i massively am head over heels for....Shes perfect, I have not known any girl up to date that is more fitting for me. Well...she is definitely the type of girl you would be happy to bring home to meet the parents.....anyways in reality she is dating this jerk which I hate soo much. I don't know if its the fact that he is a jerk or that he is dating the girl of my dreams that why i hate him.
Anyways....back to the story...I was sitting in the grass field, there was a soccer goal and we were playing soccer. I then sat down, she ran over to me and I gave her a kiss on the cheek. As i did that her jerk bf came over and wanted to start a fight. He is pretty big....(I MUST TANK UP AFTER THIS YEAR) and punched me in the face. Before he punched me, I said "Go ahead, u can only resort to violence to get ur way", even though I tried fighting back but I got smashed pretty bad....had blood all over. Kinda blacked out and pretty much I then woke up in my own bed...realising that was just a dream.
Surprisingly I walked over to my cousins room and told him all about it...it seemed soo real but then for some reason I had a weird feeling....I then questioned myself "Is this really happening? like...can this be a dream?" I then woke up in my own bed. I was soo amazed because it was like I had a dream within a dream. This totally reminds me of INCEPTION, such a great movie...this has to be like the 2nd time this has ever happened to me. I just had to write this post to remind me about this event.
About the dream....If i could have that dream over and over again....even to the pt I got badly smashed by that guy, I would want to have that dream again. The moment when i was with her in the dream was amazing...really I am going back home next yr if i pass everything....I hope i can....I wonder how I am going to act when I see her. I guess I still cant get over my feelings for her but I am sure I will next yr. If i find out one thing about her....its either a yes or no, it will completely change my feelings towards her.
I think i better go find some uni work to do now...tomr is practical day. I prefer any other day but prac day because I feel like its just not useful since I wont be going to be doing work in the pharmaceutical industry. I am soo glad I have great prac partners because they make my day bearable.
BYES BYES!!! =)
Okay...so this is what happened...I was sitting in a grass field with a friend of mine, who i massively am head over heels for....Shes perfect, I have not known any girl up to date that is more fitting for me. Well...she is definitely the type of girl you would be happy to bring home to meet the parents.....anyways in reality she is dating this jerk which I hate soo much. I don't know if its the fact that he is a jerk or that he is dating the girl of my dreams that why i hate him.
Anyways....back to the story...I was sitting in the grass field, there was a soccer goal and we were playing soccer. I then sat down, she ran over to me and I gave her a kiss on the cheek. As i did that her jerk bf came over and wanted to start a fight. He is pretty big....(I MUST TANK UP AFTER THIS YEAR) and punched me in the face. Before he punched me, I said "Go ahead, u can only resort to violence to get ur way", even though I tried fighting back but I got smashed pretty bad....had blood all over. Kinda blacked out and pretty much I then woke up in my own bed...realising that was just a dream.
Surprisingly I walked over to my cousins room and told him all about it...it seemed soo real but then for some reason I had a weird feeling....I then questioned myself "Is this really happening? like...can this be a dream?" I then woke up in my own bed. I was soo amazed because it was like I had a dream within a dream. This totally reminds me of INCEPTION, such a great movie...this has to be like the 2nd time this has ever happened to me. I just had to write this post to remind me about this event.
About the dream....If i could have that dream over and over again....even to the pt I got badly smashed by that guy, I would want to have that dream again. The moment when i was with her in the dream was amazing...really I am going back home next yr if i pass everything....I hope i can....I wonder how I am going to act when I see her. I guess I still cant get over my feelings for her but I am sure I will next yr. If i find out one thing about her....its either a yes or no, it will completely change my feelings towards her.
I think i better go find some uni work to do now...tomr is practical day. I prefer any other day but prac day because I feel like its just not useful since I wont be going to be doing work in the pharmaceutical industry. I am soo glad I have great prac partners because they make my day bearable.
BYES BYES!!! =)
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Hi there!
Hi there!
I recently found out that a friend of mine has a blog and reading some of her posts are really interesting. I guess that's good about blogs, we can write about whatever that is on our mind. So, after reading hers...It has made me want to write again...hoping I can continue to write but I always get soo sidetrack from life aka UNI! But lets see how things go these next couple of months.
Its been quite sometime ey? To be honest I don't know why i have this blog since I dont write on it very often and should deactivate it. However I remind myself the reasons why I started this blog in the first place!
1. Its a place to write my daily feelings and when i really want to express myself
2. Blogging is healthy for the mind....and possibly body? ^_^
Anyways, I am in my final year of pharmacy and have one semester to go. I really really really hope i can pull through! I have internship back home in adelaide...and although its 1hr drive to get to work I guess I don't mind. We will just have to wait and see how it goes.
Last couple of months I been occupied with Uni, Placement and work....so have no time at all to chase girls....Yes ><'' soo sad! But all this will change when i attempt to get a woolies checkout chick number this friday. I am trying to pump myself up and tell myself i can do it. She is really cute, saw her once and I think she was checking me out.....hopefully things will go smoothly and in my next post I will explain what went down. Oh.... :P
One of the biggest surprise for me last couple of months is the number of pharmacies that offered me internship! A total of 7 pharmacies offered me internship, including some of the big names such as Good Price Pharmacy, Nationals, Terry White Chemists I am soo grateful of the many opportunities that have come up for me. To be honest, once i accepted the offer, I felt really bad turning down the other pharmacies. Sometimes i wish there was more of me so i can take all the internship....Am I being greedy? I guess we are all greedy in our own right...If I wasn't then I think I would be 1 step closer to being enlightened.
Anyways, I think this is enough writing for today....until next time :)
I recently found out that a friend of mine has a blog and reading some of her posts are really interesting. I guess that's good about blogs, we can write about whatever that is on our mind. So, after reading hers...It has made me want to write again...hoping I can continue to write but I always get soo sidetrack from life aka UNI! But lets see how things go these next couple of months.
Its been quite sometime ey? To be honest I don't know why i have this blog since I dont write on it very often and should deactivate it. However I remind myself the reasons why I started this blog in the first place!
1. Its a place to write my daily feelings and when i really want to express myself
2. Blogging is healthy for the mind....and possibly body? ^_^
Anyways, I am in my final year of pharmacy and have one semester to go. I really really really hope i can pull through! I have internship back home in adelaide...and although its 1hr drive to get to work I guess I don't mind. We will just have to wait and see how it goes.
Last couple of months I been occupied with Uni, Placement and work....so have no time at all to chase girls....Yes ><'' soo sad! But all this will change when i attempt to get a woolies checkout chick number this friday. I am trying to pump myself up and tell myself i can do it. She is really cute, saw her once and I think she was checking me out.....hopefully things will go smoothly and in my next post I will explain what went down. Oh.... :P
One of the biggest surprise for me last couple of months is the number of pharmacies that offered me internship! A total of 7 pharmacies offered me internship, including some of the big names such as Good Price Pharmacy, Nationals, Terry White Chemists I am soo grateful of the many opportunities that have come up for me. To be honest, once i accepted the offer, I felt really bad turning down the other pharmacies. Sometimes i wish there was more of me so i can take all the internship....Am I being greedy? I guess we are all greedy in our own right...If I wasn't then I think I would be 1 step closer to being enlightened.
Anyways, I think this is enough writing for today....until next time :)
Friday, April 22, 2011
Behind that smile
Behind this smile is something you will never understand. Behind this smile is a person with many tears that are being held back. Behind this smile is where I hide. Behind this smile is what I choose not to show. Behind this smile is what you will never know. Very sad lately, even though I am miles away, my family are close to my heart.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I'm back!
I havent posted in such a long time! Anyways, I will try to write more when i have some free time. I am in my final years of my study...and lately I have been thinkin if I should do further studies (5 more years) to become a dentist! I dont know why but pharmacy doesnt seem to be me at all. However I plan to graduate with this degree and sit UMAT, and just depends if i pass the test or not. I am not thinking too much and gonna take it one step at a time.
Life in general has been ok....cant complain too much! It hasnt been bad but hasnt been great.
Friends...I find myself losing more friends as the days go by....during the holidays, I went back home and met some friends, most of them have really changed...and feels like i dont know them anymore. It sucks to be in this position, I guess I am trying to stay positive and tell myself atleast I have 1-2 close friends I can call "True Friends".
While I was back home, I went out and saw an old friend. To see her and feel so distant, all because of her JERK boyfriend really pissed me off. Afterwards, it was on my mind constantly and so I drank quite a bit. I pretty much wanted the alcohol to make me forget but reality is, the next day I still remembered...that comes with the hangover as well. I promised to myself never to drink that much ever again!
Anyways, i'm feeling tired...post next time!
Life in general has been ok....cant complain too much! It hasnt been bad but hasnt been great.
Friends...I find myself losing more friends as the days go by....during the holidays, I went back home and met some friends, most of them have really changed...and feels like i dont know them anymore. It sucks to be in this position, I guess I am trying to stay positive and tell myself atleast I have 1-2 close friends I can call "True Friends".
While I was back home, I went out and saw an old friend. To see her and feel so distant, all because of her JERK boyfriend really pissed me off. Afterwards, it was on my mind constantly and so I drank quite a bit. I pretty much wanted the alcohol to make me forget but reality is, the next day I still remembered...that comes with the hangover as well. I promised to myself never to drink that much ever again!
Anyways, i'm feeling tired...post next time!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
