okays...I recently realised something!
In these past couple of days, I found that after a confession to a girl you like is not something you cant get over, especially when she rejects you.
Now...the story goes, I like this close friend of mine...told her how I felt and wanted to know if she felt the same. She asked me how long i have felt this way and I told her that I have for quite sometime now.
She said that it really caught her by surprised and that she never felt that way towards me. She said its not a definite no but she wants to go with the flow and see what happens.
This really reminds me of an episode in HIMYM where they defined this theory where everyone gets caught in the vicious cycle of being hooked. I feel like I am being hooked by her....its like this e.g. "I can't be with you....right now." I think if you like someone u will always know...she definitely doesnt feel that way.
Now there's two options I can take:
1. Go back to being friends and act like everything is fine
2. Slowly become distant to her
At this stage I dont know what route I will take but just have to wait and see...I got too many things to worry about such as final 4wks of Uni and end of pharmacy degree. I cant believe its been 3 yrs since I have been up here....feels like a dream! This experience of being away from home has definitely turned out alot better than I expected....because I have grown and become more independent which I dont think I would have gotten if I got into pharmacy back home. Also the awesome friends I made...I am sure we will be lifelong friends! Thankyou Fate!
Anyways, back to my point...after telling her and she nicely rejected me, I thought I would be pretty heartbroken, but....No! I was fine. It was just better to get it off my chest and felt like whatever the outcome may have been...it was a win for me. Maybe I am just being an optimistic like I always am but yeh....life goes on and there are other girls out there.
I am slowly losing feelings for her as day goes by...i think some people will question how much I liked her....I did like her alot but being the person I am...I dont want to hold onto something thats not worth holding on. Sure I will always have some feelings for her but nothing is going to happen so I have to move on.
Not writing these past couple of days....have made me write quite alot for this post! Until next time.....
A - out :)
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Random thoughts....random feelings...
Its 3AM and I cant sleep! Why....I don't know!
Could it be I am still thinking of what happened a couple of nights ago?....possibly!
Ok! Soo what happened is....by far the most memorable night I've had in Brisbane where after dinner my mate came over and we started to drink! We were having the best time, just laughing and talking about the most random things.
I think alcohol opens you up....well it does for me anyways! With the alcohol in me...I text my close friend and told her i like her. She didn't responded well...and she said that it was awkward. I haven't spoken to her since! What am i suppose to do?...I have just trying to distract by finding things to do these last couple of days and not think about it, but i guess....when i lay in bed at night, i began to think....
oh wells....don't ask me how huge the possibilities is, because we will never know.
You know how ppzl say its hard to be friends with your ex....well what about being rejected by a girl?....especially if u known each other pretty well.
Well...life goes on! Until my next post!
Could it be I am still thinking of what happened a couple of nights ago?....possibly!
Ok! Soo what happened is....by far the most memorable night I've had in Brisbane where after dinner my mate came over and we started to drink! We were having the best time, just laughing and talking about the most random things.
I think alcohol opens you up....well it does for me anyways! With the alcohol in me...I text my close friend and told her i like her. She didn't responded well...and she said that it was awkward. I haven't spoken to her since! What am i suppose to do?...I have just trying to distract by finding things to do these last couple of days and not think about it, but i guess....when i lay in bed at night, i began to think....
oh wells....don't ask me how huge the possibilities is, because we will never know.
You know how ppzl say its hard to be friends with your ex....well what about being rejected by a girl?....especially if u known each other pretty well.
Well...life goes on! Until my next post!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Annoyed!!!
When you are annoyed....u cant concentrate!
Example; annoyed at everything that has happened these last a couple of days! Cant research...reading one line just makes me more pissed off! I hardly get pissed off but people around me really give me a reason to be.
F***** researching something i find ridiculously stupid! ARGGHHHH!
Example; annoyed at everything that has happened these last a couple of days! Cant research...reading one line just makes me more pissed off! I hardly get pissed off but people around me really give me a reason to be.
F***** researching something i find ridiculously stupid! ARGGHHHH!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
second time meeting
Ok! Getting straight to business tonight!
Well...after dinner with my mates, i went to woolies to hopefully ask her for her number. I rocked up at 7.45 PM, hoping that it would be late enough where there was no ppzl but there were heaps...guess late nite grocery shopping is common.
The moment I walked in, she saw me and was looking straight at me. Not even a subtle glance. Seems like she was expecting...hoping me to come? Anyways, I waited a while went toward the checkout. I said hi to her, and then ask her how was her night? She replied "not too bad thanks"
As I wanted to talk more, some lady lined up behind me. So didn't have more of a chance to talk to her. However, although I did not get her number like I had planned, I made an impression AND I have a feeling that she also likes me too. I guess I am going to have to do my grocery shopping every friday now, instead of the weekend like I used to.
I think 1-2 more times, I will be able to ask for her number. FOR SURE!!! OR D-TRYING! :)
Anyways, feeling tired....must work on my MPE 3000 word Report! I wish i knew a social worker who can help me with this weird assignment!
Until next time...
Well...after dinner with my mates, i went to woolies to hopefully ask her for her number. I rocked up at 7.45 PM, hoping that it would be late enough where there was no ppzl but there were heaps...guess late nite grocery shopping is common.
The moment I walked in, she saw me and was looking straight at me. Not even a subtle glance. Seems like she was expecting...hoping me to come? Anyways, I waited a while went toward the checkout. I said hi to her, and then ask her how was her night? She replied "not too bad thanks"
As I wanted to talk more, some lady lined up behind me. So didn't have more of a chance to talk to her. However, although I did not get her number like I had planned, I made an impression AND I have a feeling that she also likes me too. I guess I am going to have to do my grocery shopping every friday now, instead of the weekend like I used to.
I think 1-2 more times, I will be able to ask for her number. FOR SURE!!! OR D-TRYING! :)
Anyways, feeling tired....must work on my MPE 3000 word Report! I wish i knew a social worker who can help me with this weird assignment!
Until next time...
Thursday, September 8, 2011
The Concept of Secrets
The Concept of Secrets is when 1 person has something that he/she does not want a second person to know. If there was a 2nd person who finds out, then that secret is a risk of being known by the 3rd, 4th, 5th...etc
Last night, I felt one of my big secrets was found out from a very close...my best friend back home. I don't feel any regrets that the thing I kept close to my heart is now known by a 2nd person....but I think I let myself go too often.
I hope that this post reminds me to not be in a vulnerable position like last nite. I'm the type that would try to show the least emotion out of all my friends. I keep things...sad or bitterness inside and constantly mask it with a smiling face.
90% of my friends think that I am too immature and honestly its the way i shield myself against showing any vulnerability. Everyone says its hard to be mature when you are immature. Try being immature when you are mature. I feel that's a lot harder!
One of my closet mate (Mike) said to me one nite! Everyone in this world puts on a mask/act when they are around others. Its so nature to them that they don't even know that they are doing it. I totally agree with what he is saying because its the truth.
For example: Someone who is nice...is it because they are nice? or is it because they know they have to be nice to be treated nicely in return? Either way, its hard to judge because everyone has different reasons/motives on why they act in a certain way.
For me? I like to believe I am nice, down to earth type of guy.
Do I act this way to be accepted? I cant honestly say no because I act the way people expect of me so I can fit into society...but it isnt necessary mean that its a bad thing!
Tomorrow is Friday! and it the day I will try to get the Woolworths girl number. Oh Yikes I am a little freaked out but I tell myself, I have nothing to lose + she is very pretty :P
Time to sleepzzzzz :)
Last night, I felt one of my big secrets was found out from a very close...my best friend back home. I don't feel any regrets that the thing I kept close to my heart is now known by a 2nd person....but I think I let myself go too often.
I hope that this post reminds me to not be in a vulnerable position like last nite. I'm the type that would try to show the least emotion out of all my friends. I keep things...sad or bitterness inside and constantly mask it with a smiling face.
90% of my friends think that I am too immature and honestly its the way i shield myself against showing any vulnerability. Everyone says its hard to be mature when you are immature. Try being immature when you are mature. I feel that's a lot harder!
One of my closet mate (Mike) said to me one nite! Everyone in this world puts on a mask/act when they are around others. Its so nature to them that they don't even know that they are doing it. I totally agree with what he is saying because its the truth.
For example: Someone who is nice...is it because they are nice? or is it because they know they have to be nice to be treated nicely in return? Either way, its hard to judge because everyone has different reasons/motives on why they act in a certain way.
For me? I like to believe I am nice, down to earth type of guy.
Do I act this way to be accepted? I cant honestly say no because I act the way people expect of me so I can fit into society...but it isnt necessary mean that its a bad thing!
Tomorrow is Friday! and it the day I will try to get the Woolworths girl number. Oh Yikes I am a little freaked out but I tell myself, I have nothing to lose + she is very pretty :P
Time to sleepzzzzz :)
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
a dream within a dream
Just had to write this....last night had such a weird dream.
Okay...so this is what happened...I was sitting in a grass field with a friend of mine, who i massively am head over heels for....Shes perfect, I have not known any girl up to date that is more fitting for me. Well...she is definitely the type of girl you would be happy to bring home to meet the parents.....anyways in reality she is dating this jerk which I hate soo much. I don't know if its the fact that he is a jerk or that he is dating the girl of my dreams that why i hate him.
Anyways....back to the story...I was sitting in the grass field, there was a soccer goal and we were playing soccer. I then sat down, she ran over to me and I gave her a kiss on the cheek. As i did that her jerk bf came over and wanted to start a fight. He is pretty big....(I MUST TANK UP AFTER THIS YEAR) and punched me in the face. Before he punched me, I said "Go ahead, u can only resort to violence to get ur way", even though I tried fighting back but I got smashed pretty bad....had blood all over. Kinda blacked out and pretty much I then woke up in my own bed...realising that was just a dream.
Surprisingly I walked over to my cousins room and told him all about it...it seemed soo real but then for some reason I had a weird feeling....I then questioned myself "Is this really happening? like...can this be a dream?" I then woke up in my own bed. I was soo amazed because it was like I had a dream within a dream. This totally reminds me of INCEPTION, such a great movie...this has to be like the 2nd time this has ever happened to me. I just had to write this post to remind me about this event.
About the dream....If i could have that dream over and over again....even to the pt I got badly smashed by that guy, I would want to have that dream again. The moment when i was with her in the dream was amazing...really I am going back home next yr if i pass everything....I hope i can....I wonder how I am going to act when I see her. I guess I still cant get over my feelings for her but I am sure I will next yr. If i find out one thing about her....its either a yes or no, it will completely change my feelings towards her.
I think i better go find some uni work to do now...tomr is practical day. I prefer any other day but prac day because I feel like its just not useful since I wont be going to be doing work in the pharmaceutical industry. I am soo glad I have great prac partners because they make my day bearable.
BYES BYES!!! =)
Okay...so this is what happened...I was sitting in a grass field with a friend of mine, who i massively am head over heels for....Shes perfect, I have not known any girl up to date that is more fitting for me. Well...she is definitely the type of girl you would be happy to bring home to meet the parents.....anyways in reality she is dating this jerk which I hate soo much. I don't know if its the fact that he is a jerk or that he is dating the girl of my dreams that why i hate him.
Anyways....back to the story...I was sitting in the grass field, there was a soccer goal and we were playing soccer. I then sat down, she ran over to me and I gave her a kiss on the cheek. As i did that her jerk bf came over and wanted to start a fight. He is pretty big....(I MUST TANK UP AFTER THIS YEAR) and punched me in the face. Before he punched me, I said "Go ahead, u can only resort to violence to get ur way", even though I tried fighting back but I got smashed pretty bad....had blood all over. Kinda blacked out and pretty much I then woke up in my own bed...realising that was just a dream.
Surprisingly I walked over to my cousins room and told him all about it...it seemed soo real but then for some reason I had a weird feeling....I then questioned myself "Is this really happening? like...can this be a dream?" I then woke up in my own bed. I was soo amazed because it was like I had a dream within a dream. This totally reminds me of INCEPTION, such a great movie...this has to be like the 2nd time this has ever happened to me. I just had to write this post to remind me about this event.
About the dream....If i could have that dream over and over again....even to the pt I got badly smashed by that guy, I would want to have that dream again. The moment when i was with her in the dream was amazing...really I am going back home next yr if i pass everything....I hope i can....I wonder how I am going to act when I see her. I guess I still cant get over my feelings for her but I am sure I will next yr. If i find out one thing about her....its either a yes or no, it will completely change my feelings towards her.
I think i better go find some uni work to do now...tomr is practical day. I prefer any other day but prac day because I feel like its just not useful since I wont be going to be doing work in the pharmaceutical industry. I am soo glad I have great prac partners because they make my day bearable.
BYES BYES!!! =)
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Hi there!
Hi there!
I recently found out that a friend of mine has a blog and reading some of her posts are really interesting. I guess that's good about blogs, we can write about whatever that is on our mind. So, after reading hers...It has made me want to write again...hoping I can continue to write but I always get soo sidetrack from life aka UNI! But lets see how things go these next couple of months.
Its been quite sometime ey? To be honest I don't know why i have this blog since I dont write on it very often and should deactivate it. However I remind myself the reasons why I started this blog in the first place!
1. Its a place to write my daily feelings and when i really want to express myself
2. Blogging is healthy for the mind....and possibly body? ^_^
Anyways, I am in my final year of pharmacy and have one semester to go. I really really really hope i can pull through! I have internship back home in adelaide...and although its 1hr drive to get to work I guess I don't mind. We will just have to wait and see how it goes.
Last couple of months I been occupied with Uni, Placement and work....so have no time at all to chase girls....Yes ><'' soo sad! But all this will change when i attempt to get a woolies checkout chick number this friday. I am trying to pump myself up and tell myself i can do it. She is really cute, saw her once and I think she was checking me out.....hopefully things will go smoothly and in my next post I will explain what went down. Oh.... :P
One of the biggest surprise for me last couple of months is the number of pharmacies that offered me internship! A total of 7 pharmacies offered me internship, including some of the big names such as Good Price Pharmacy, Nationals, Terry White Chemists I am soo grateful of the many opportunities that have come up for me. To be honest, once i accepted the offer, I felt really bad turning down the other pharmacies. Sometimes i wish there was more of me so i can take all the internship....Am I being greedy? I guess we are all greedy in our own right...If I wasn't then I think I would be 1 step closer to being enlightened.
Anyways, I think this is enough writing for today....until next time :)
I recently found out that a friend of mine has a blog and reading some of her posts are really interesting. I guess that's good about blogs, we can write about whatever that is on our mind. So, after reading hers...It has made me want to write again...hoping I can continue to write but I always get soo sidetrack from life aka UNI! But lets see how things go these next couple of months.
Its been quite sometime ey? To be honest I don't know why i have this blog since I dont write on it very often and should deactivate it. However I remind myself the reasons why I started this blog in the first place!
1. Its a place to write my daily feelings and when i really want to express myself
2. Blogging is healthy for the mind....and possibly body? ^_^
Anyways, I am in my final year of pharmacy and have one semester to go. I really really really hope i can pull through! I have internship back home in adelaide...and although its 1hr drive to get to work I guess I don't mind. We will just have to wait and see how it goes.
Last couple of months I been occupied with Uni, Placement and work....so have no time at all to chase girls....Yes ><'' soo sad! But all this will change when i attempt to get a woolies checkout chick number this friday. I am trying to pump myself up and tell myself i can do it. She is really cute, saw her once and I think she was checking me out.....hopefully things will go smoothly and in my next post I will explain what went down. Oh.... :P
One of the biggest surprise for me last couple of months is the number of pharmacies that offered me internship! A total of 7 pharmacies offered me internship, including some of the big names such as Good Price Pharmacy, Nationals, Terry White Chemists I am soo grateful of the many opportunities that have come up for me. To be honest, once i accepted the offer, I felt really bad turning down the other pharmacies. Sometimes i wish there was more of me so i can take all the internship....Am I being greedy? I guess we are all greedy in our own right...If I wasn't then I think I would be 1 step closer to being enlightened.
Anyways, I think this is enough writing for today....until next time :)
Friday, April 22, 2011
Behind that smile
Behind this smile is something you will never understand. Behind this smile is a person with many tears that are being held back. Behind this smile is where I hide. Behind this smile is what I choose not to show. Behind this smile is what you will never know. Very sad lately, even though I am miles away, my family are close to my heart.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I'm back!
I havent posted in such a long time! Anyways, I will try to write more when i have some free time. I am in my final years of my study...and lately I have been thinkin if I should do further studies (5 more years) to become a dentist! I dont know why but pharmacy doesnt seem to be me at all. However I plan to graduate with this degree and sit UMAT, and just depends if i pass the test or not. I am not thinking too much and gonna take it one step at a time.
Life in general has been ok....cant complain too much! It hasnt been bad but hasnt been great.
Friends...I find myself losing more friends as the days go by....during the holidays, I went back home and met some friends, most of them have really changed...and feels like i dont know them anymore. It sucks to be in this position, I guess I am trying to stay positive and tell myself atleast I have 1-2 close friends I can call "True Friends".
While I was back home, I went out and saw an old friend. To see her and feel so distant, all because of her JERK boyfriend really pissed me off. Afterwards, it was on my mind constantly and so I drank quite a bit. I pretty much wanted the alcohol to make me forget but reality is, the next day I still remembered...that comes with the hangover as well. I promised to myself never to drink that much ever again!
Anyways, i'm feeling tired...post next time!
Life in general has been ok....cant complain too much! It hasnt been bad but hasnt been great.
Friends...I find myself losing more friends as the days go by....during the holidays, I went back home and met some friends, most of them have really changed...and feels like i dont know them anymore. It sucks to be in this position, I guess I am trying to stay positive and tell myself atleast I have 1-2 close friends I can call "True Friends".
While I was back home, I went out and saw an old friend. To see her and feel so distant, all because of her JERK boyfriend really pissed me off. Afterwards, it was on my mind constantly and so I drank quite a bit. I pretty much wanted the alcohol to make me forget but reality is, the next day I still remembered...that comes with the hangover as well. I promised to myself never to drink that much ever again!
Anyways, i'm feeling tired...post next time!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Its been yonks
Its been sooo long since last wrote......soo many things have happened in my life.
I am at the cross roads of my life where I've been thinking alot about things that i truely think matters in life. Girlfriend is definitely on the list!!! Have multiple interests atm which is normal i guess for being a guy! Theres a girl in class that want to get to know but.....something is preventing me and I know exactly what it is. IT IS MYSELF!!! I say theres nothing to lose soo why am i holding back? Isn't it funny in life, u see what u want yet going out to get it is a completely different story.
Maybe I need to someone get to know her on a better basis and see the vibe between us. She recently broke up with her boufriend according to a friend of mine who told me....no one really knows that i am interested in her among our friends and I dont really talk to her ex at all so I dont really have any problem if we date her....Its sooo weird to have feelings for her because i never did until she was single and I see something in her. Sooo i will update on how things going later!
Studyin.....has been pretty bad, just being slacking off. Got an assignment due first day back soo yeah, have not really started, Plan to to some reading in the next 5 mins.....go have something to eat and then come back and read some more. DAMN! Pharmacology how i dislike this!!!
oh! Things have never been more awkward between me and the 2nd yr girl i had a crush on last yr....we see eachother and talk but its just sooo awkward....she cant expect me to act cool when i see her hugging some other guy at the bus stop where i was standing! Theres also a girl in class who i came to be friends with, she is HOT AND COLD to me......What is her deal?...I dont know but i really have lost interest in her....but i dont want to have a bad reputation if i go for her and things fail soo best to remain friends.....I think i am saying this because i dont think shes worth it....But yeah.......Back to studying! I hope i can pass this yr, i seriously hope i can >.<
Alrites, until next time!
I am at the cross roads of my life where I've been thinking alot about things that i truely think matters in life. Girlfriend is definitely on the list!!! Have multiple interests atm which is normal i guess for being a guy! Theres a girl in class that want to get to know but.....something is preventing me and I know exactly what it is. IT IS MYSELF!!! I say theres nothing to lose soo why am i holding back? Isn't it funny in life, u see what u want yet going out to get it is a completely different story.
Maybe I need to someone get to know her on a better basis and see the vibe between us. She recently broke up with her boufriend according to a friend of mine who told me....no one really knows that i am interested in her among our friends and I dont really talk to her ex at all so I dont really have any problem if we date her....Its sooo weird to have feelings for her because i never did until she was single and I see something in her. Sooo i will update on how things going later!
Studyin.....has been pretty bad, just being slacking off. Got an assignment due first day back soo yeah, have not really started, Plan to to some reading in the next 5 mins.....go have something to eat and then come back and read some more. DAMN! Pharmacology how i dislike this!!!
oh! Things have never been more awkward between me and the 2nd yr girl i had a crush on last yr....we see eachother and talk but its just sooo awkward....she cant expect me to act cool when i see her hugging some other guy at the bus stop where i was standing! Theres also a girl in class who i came to be friends with, she is HOT AND COLD to me......What is her deal?...I dont know but i really have lost interest in her....but i dont want to have a bad reputation if i go for her and things fail soo best to remain friends.....I think i am saying this because i dont think shes worth it....But yeah.......Back to studying! I hope i can pass this yr, i seriously hope i can >.<
Alrites, until next time!
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